WELCOME TO UKRAINIAN FILM INDUSTRY! Greetings Comrades, I your humble servant Yakov Levi, the Ukrainian independent film-manufacturer. My films are my own, starring many talented people, a few criminals, some prostitutes, an assortment of narcotic addicts, and one very good actor. I create movies for you to enjoy and to laugh at; maybe you barf. If you like, you can pay and help me make bigger, better films. Making movie in former Soviet Union is not easy, not like in West. Here, bribes must be paid to everyone - the police, the pimps, the mafia, the city hall...usually these are all the same person. I make all films with money from working in chicken factory. Oh it is so terrible. The dead chickens bring millions of flies. You cannot imagine. I battle flies with hungry frogs, but they lost. The flies rule. Please give me money so I can apply to chicken packaging course, where I learn skills to wrap chicken meat, rather than slaughter...a much more prestigious job and more popular with the ladies! I never went to school of film. When I bought a camera, it came with instruction manual in eight languages and I translated each one. Turns out, each language tells same lesson! What a waste of time translating! Please buy my DVD, and tell the world about how great and talented Yakov Levi. Don't be afraid to lie or exaggerate. I hope you like. |
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